He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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