If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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