i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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