is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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