i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Dear god my vagina.
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