I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
