No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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