I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
