Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
