did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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