then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
