Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
