i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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