All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
