Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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