why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
