wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
