I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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