It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize