A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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