I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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