haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
