I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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