why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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