he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
