there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
