How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
