I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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