My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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