i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Less talking, more tequila
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
