At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
