Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
