pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
