id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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