I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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