I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just saw a hot homeless man
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
