my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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