He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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