Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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