If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
