i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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