you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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