Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
