Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
