Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's shark week go big or go home
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
