How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
