Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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