oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I need a burrito and a hug.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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