Please, let me fuck your mom
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
