Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
