you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I sprained my soul last night
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
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