Duck Duck Cougar?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
