the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
