Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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