I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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