Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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