she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
