May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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