YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
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Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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