it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
