He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
